For the past decade I have advised others on transitioning in their careers and their lives. But words don’t really teach. Life experience does. And nothing teaches like a sudden personal tragedy.
For me, this abrupt change in my life came at the end of May, 2021, when I was getting my 8-year-old daughter ready for school. She had been experiencing unexplained tummy pains for a few weeks. While she was sitting on the couch, trying to get down a slice of toast before getting dressed, her eyes glazed over and she started convulsing. This seizure went on, uncontrollably, until the paramedics came, and less than an hour later we were being air lifted to BC Children’s Hospital. 3 days later, after countless specialists and teams looked her over, we were given the life-changing news. She had cancer – stage four, high-risk neuroblastoma, spread throughout her tiny body. Prognosis: less than a 50% chance of survival.
Suddenly, all of the advice I had been offering over the years took on new meaning. Although I wasn’t faced with a job termination, I was unable to work or carry on the roles and identity I was used to. The scope and security that I had defined my life by dissolved, and I was left with the hollow, ambiguous space that comes when one thing ends and another has yet to take shape and form.
The “neutral zone”.
William Bridges, in his book “Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes” speaks extensively about this stage in the process of change. It is that uncomfortable place that many of us fail to honour and embrace when we feel disconnected and unoriented in the details of our lives. There is no solid ground, and therefore we fight to cling to the past or grasp for the future before things have had a chance to coalesce with clarity.
For me, this is when faith became a critical tool in my life.
On May 31, 2021, I had to stop working. My career that I had been building from the ground up was put on hold – my business paused – and with little explanation or validation to my clients and community. Despite all of the advice I had given to others to keep the balls in the air, maintain connections through transitional change, I couldn’t keep up. I didn’t have any emotional or intellectual energy to do the small tasks that would have kept open channels of communication and held my place in the “market” so I could come back to my work quickly.
It has now been almost two years since our family began this journey. My daughter – an absolute warrior in every aspect of the word – continues to fight and win. We are five months past the end of her treatment protocol and we have every reason to believe she will continue to show clear scans. Every day is a celebration. Despite the possibility that the cancer could return, we now live our lives in that present moment where hope and possibility thrive.
As a professional, this experience will no doubt change the entire course of my career. I am a writer and a coach, and although I have been successful in my business and have experienced deep joy and meaning in the work that I do, I know I cannot go back to the way I was before. None of us can. Life continues to move us forward, and we can choose to fight the current or let go of the oars.
This “neutral zone” is slowly transforming into my “new beginning”. Things are starting to take shape. I have used pen and paper to navigate my way through this challenging time, writing as a way of coping while living in a hospital room, watching over my girl while the rest of my family waits in the wings for our return. Storytelling has been a central theme of my “brand”, and it has never been more obvious that this is a cornerstone of the work I am meant to do in this world. This has shifted in definition throughout my career and will continue to do so in my business.
Our experiences in life and work evolve us, and we must use these as opportunities to grow, advance our skills, and reinvent ourselves amid the changing landscape around us. For me, coaching is crucial for me, in my life and my heart. I believe so much in the value everyone brings to this tapestry of humanity, and I want to continue to encourage confidence in others in any way I can that they have something significant to give. So too is writing, and writing resumes has been an exceptional way for me to help give others that confidence and clarity. A resume, after all, is a story of a person’s “worth” relevant to a specific context. But shouldn’t we all be able to tell our own stories? Isn’t that the ultimate goal and source of personal power?
This is the message I want to continue to put forward: as our lives change around us, we can fine tune our preferences and desires in life, but in doing so we often come back to fundamental values we hold unconditionally. These values can work as a compass, guiding us toward more meaningful experiences, offering us definition in what we want to achieve and contribute. In the world of work, we can use these values – these things that stay consistent for us when the tides turn – to create a “brand” that serves to elevate our opportunities in our careers.
At the core of our stories is who we are – the person we want to be and the things that matter most to us. My goal is to help clients to understand this and flesh out their careers around this central sense of purpose and meaning. We all continue to change, grow and evolve as the world around us does, but there is something unique in all of us that we need to identify and communicate in order to align with opportunities that fit that sense of self.
If my daughter has taught me anything through these past two years it’s that we determine our fate. She has been given unbelievable support, and the absolute best care with the most incredible teams and technology available to battle this disease. Those tools have been critical for her success, but above all, the faith and courage she has within have been the determining factors in her success. She knows her worth, she has passion for her life, and she believes in the power of her own desire. This is true in anything – our health, our careers, our lives. Having tools in our toolbox is helpful to move us forward, but our ultimate power is from within.
Sometimes we find ourselves in a place of discomfort – the “neutral zone” – where answers aren’t entirely clear. But they will come. We hold the pen that writes the script of our lives, our careers, our journey. If anything, being a Career Practitioner is about helping clients establish a firm grip on that pen and confidently write the story they intend.
To all of my clients, I hope all of you craft a story you are confident with, and trust that the answers will come when you know who you are.
